Zombieland (2009) – 1.5/5

What a dumb movie. Hardly any plot, and the little it does have makes no sense. So the main characters’ big plan throughout the film is to, what, go to a random amusement park and hope it’s not littered with zombies? And then they get there, and it’s actually empty for some reason, and what do they do? They turn on all the lights and make as much noise as possible, thus alerting every zombie within a 5 miles radius of their presence. Nicely done.

And why is all the electricity still working? And the pumps at the gas station? And Bill Murray? It just doesn’t make any sense. And what a stupid cameo. Since when is it a bright idea to, in the middle of a zombie invasion, play a joke on an unsuspecting armed character by dressing up like a zombie and sneaking up behind them? Good thinking.

Smart, smart writing. Truly, brilliant. I understand that it’s a comedy, but did it have to be so freaking stupid? It even had the typical “two characters interrupted before they kiss” moment that you see in stupid romantic comedies and Disney films. Come on. What, did a two-year old write this? Were the idiots who wrote the two “Transformers” films not available to at least give this a touch more intelligence?

Some highlights: Abigail Breslin, who somehow manages to to be great despite barely doing or saying anything. The girl has a bright future ahead of her, assuming she doesn’t succumb to the “pressures” of Hollywood and become a drug addled, sex crazed nut ala Lindsay Lohan. And Woody Harrelson, who is just damn cool. And the zombies, which were kind of scary and disgusting.

Overall though, a piece of crap. Avoid.

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